There came a time in my life when I had to choose. Listen to the "world" or listen to God.
The world was easier. The world said to avoid pain, struggle, and hardship.
The world said to consume constantly so as to fill myself up.
The world said we didn't have to give up control to a God that may or may not exist.
So I tried it that way. I tried it that way because that still, small voice was easy to muffle. Or so I thought. I did it that way because I thought we *needed* two new cars every few years, trips to Disney, and a room (decorated via pottery barn kids, of course) for each child. I fought the plan that God had for us because I was afraid. Afraid of struggling financially, afraid of self denial, afraid that I would work Jesse into the grave or the arms of someone else or who knows what. Fear in my life has always been a result of mistrust. Or, rather, trusting the wrong things. Satan whispers and I jump at it. Fear is not from God. A friend came by last night (she owns Gingersnap Family Photography) and grabbed a few shots of the baby, Jesse, and I. Later she posted the pictures and I was discussing the ones with Jesse and the baby with another friend. Even after the unexpected birth, csection, at that, days of running back and forth from the hospital, parenting the littles, listening to me bark orders, and all that goes with being a full time parent in this house he doesn't look ready for the grave to me. He looks, well, JOYful.
The world was easier. The world said to avoid pain, struggle, and hardship.
The world said to consume constantly so as to fill myself up.
The world said we didn't have to give up control to a God that may or may not exist.
So I tried it that way. I tried it that way because that still, small voice was easy to muffle. Or so I thought. I did it that way because I thought we *needed* two new cars every few years, trips to Disney, and a room (decorated via pottery barn kids, of course) for each child. I fought the plan that God had for us because I was afraid. Afraid of struggling financially, afraid of self denial, afraid that I would work Jesse into the grave or the arms of someone else or who knows what. Fear in my life has always been a result of mistrust. Or, rather, trusting the wrong things. Satan whispers and I jump at it. Fear is not from God. A friend came by last night (she owns Gingersnap Family Photography) and grabbed a few shots of the baby, Jesse, and I. Later she posted the pictures and I was discussing the ones with Jesse and the baby with another friend. Even after the unexpected birth, csection, at that, days of running back and forth from the hospital, parenting the littles, listening to me bark orders, and all that goes with being a full time parent in this house he doesn't look ready for the grave to me. He looks, well, JOYful.
So we muck up God's plans for us when we listen to the world, when we listen to Satan, and when we live in fear of what *could* happen.
Certainly following God doesn't mean things will be easy or happy always nor does it mean you must suffer greatly (although I've never met a person without a cross to carry). It *does* mean that there is JOY if we allow there to be.
After we lost Veronica last year I wondered if we should just be *done*. I wondered if the risk (which was high) of losing another was worth it.
I think we both agree that it was well worth it. And had Frances gone straight to Jesus' arms instead of ours first it would still be worth it. Following God's plan is always better and it's always worth it.
Bottomed out financially has Jesse driving around in a car with no a/c and a window that doesn't open. He comes home from work drenched some days but swears he doesn't mind. He's grateful to have a car and a job (I'm the whiner of the two of us in case you didn't know).
I've learned that the madness, chaos, and road blocks in our lives are truly gifts from God. Running from them out of fear doesn't make them go away. It just makes new challenges to get through before you make it back to the ones God had in mind for you in the first place. I tend to take those detours when I lose sight of my final goal. Lucky for me God is always there to take me back. Lucky for me my husband has pure JOY in his heart. I'm so not worthy of the madness but am grateful for it.
"David also said to Solomon his son, "Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished."
1Chronicles 28:20
3 comments:
I loved this, Amy! Beautiful post, so full of Truth.
Congratulations, by the way! Frances is adorable!
Made me cry, made me smile, reminded me who I am called to be - great post.
Love this.
Post a Comment