Today Around the House

 My kids aren't interested in what the weather is like.  They've had enough of the inside and are spending hours outside every day now.  They filled the sand table with some rocks from under the deck and have had a blast playing with them.  It's the little things, I guess.  (And free, outdoor fun is always a plus!!)

I visited the new bagel place up the road with my mom and Jesse for lunch today.  It was nice to get out for a little while, the food was fabulous, and I got to catch a little of the Detroit Tiger's opening day game on the TV there!  I was excited to see the first pitch and thought of my Grandma Jackson listening to the Tigers on the radio every spring/summer.

 We are finishing up week 24 of school.  Only 8 more weeks to go!!  It's hard to believe that this school year is nearly over!  We just re enrolled for our umbrella school (Mother of Divine Grace) for next year.  Hannah will be in HIGH SCHOOL!!!  We are so blessed to have such a fabulous curriculum to follow!

We're having homemade macaroni and cheese for dinner.  The kids and I thought this made a cool picture so I've included it here.  Again with the "little" things making our day :)

Owen has become our resident yo yo expert.  He's scrimping and saving to buy the fanciest yo yo's he can get his hand on and spends hours (yes, HOURS) each day practicing various tricks that he reads about on yo yo websites or watches on You Tube.  The little kids are following suit and are getting to be pretty good at yo yo tricks too!

Well, after a roughish few weeks things seem to be looking up.  I hope you are all doing well!  God bless!

Lent - Week Three and Satan's Trap

My eyes hurt from lack of sleep and weepiness that I don't really understand.  These past few weeks have been a roller coaster for some reason.  I always hope that Lent will open up my soul and allow God to do His work.  I seem to overlook the obvious when things start going badly.  Satan.  Our culture has done away with a "belief" in Satan and spiritual warfare.  If you mention spiritual attacks in the wrong company people look at you like you're a nut.  A very wise priest once said that the greatest lie Satan has convinced us of is that he doesn't exist.  Satan doesn't only go after those who have little or no faith.  He goes after those who are attempting to contradict society, the culture, moral relativism, and those just trying to be faithful people who live the lives that God has planned for them.  I must admit that with my melancholic temperament,  my tendency to be pessimistic in addition to being predispositioned towards depression and anxiety that I am an excellent target for Satan's lies.  Why is it so hard for some of us to believe the good or to trust God?  I do not know.  I do not know how I can look around at my healthy children in their warm house with all the gifts we have been given and feel down.  I don't know how I can carry a life within me (a life that was desperately wanted and fervently prayed for)  but only see the weight I'm gaining and all the imperfections that years of childbearing and breastfeeding bring.  Unfortunately I need alot of reminders that God is there protecting me and that, even when I fail, He still loves me.   I've read a great deal about "dark nights of the soul" and am comforted that so many Saints and holy people have experienced such a thing not just for days or weeks but in some cases for years.  Mother Teresa once said "God doesn't require us to succeed, He only requires that you try".  Well, praise God for that b/c I don't feel that I succeed in much by the end of everyday.  But I do try.  I try to remember to do the "little things" (diaper changes, wiping noses, picking up the toys for the 10,000th time, correcting math, teaching about everything from capital punishment to phonics sounds) with great love.  Or at least with a little love.....And so Lent continues.  Satan loses.  God wins.  Again.  No matter how little sleep I get or how many tears I cry or how many cloudy days make me feel like I can't get out of bed the Son is always shining through.  He shines through 18 little eyes looking up at me (OK, so some of them look down at me now ;), pink flowers from a daddy to his unborn baby girl (with a card addressed to Maggie), an uplifting song from my favorite Christian rock band, a friend making me laugh, a 2 year old's curls, and a 4 year old making me a bracelet just because I'm her mom. 

Picture of the Day

Clare before our homeschool co op this morning.  The bow lasted for a very short time after this picture.

Gratitude Sunday

Well, here we are, back at Sunday again! So much to be thankful for that I can't even count them all.

A healthy baby (18wks4days already!!)

A warm(ish) sunshine filled day. Mass with my family (even if I was in the back most of the time).

Steak sandwich at Panera (and a mocha too!). A long walk. Just me and my ipod.A freshly bathed dog!! Meal planning, grocery shopping, done, done, done! First Communion suit, shirt, and tie all set to go for the First Communion guy! A quick shopping trip with my mom (and no kids!). New monkey socks for me :)

A 15 month old that sang all the way home from Church.

A new favorite song on my ipod. A baby that imitates daddy (reading and baby in the back pack).

Dinner invitation from friends. Babies in church. Payday. Bills paid.

A yo yo master son. A sick daughter that is healing. Shadows.

A full tank of gas. A completed Rosary Book craft.

Family time. Story time. Friends who are there when I need them

(and pray for me constantly). Running into an old friend at the store.

A fresh, new week ahead with so many possibilities.

And so.much.more.

Have a blessed Sunday everyone!!

The Parable of the Prodigal Son and How It Relates To Marriage

I've read the parable of the prodigal son on more occasions than I can count.  I always thought I got the point.  The son takes off with his inheritance, does sinful things, loses the money, comes back and the father accepts him.  I always saw the father as "the" Father (God) and the son as all of us.  Many of us leave God at one time or another only to return, beg forgiveness, and are welcomed with open arms back into His fold.  But today I read a take on this parable that I had never thought of before.  I read it in terms of marriage.  In terms of the husband (or wife) being the father and the other spouse being the son.  So many times I have left my marriage, said or done things I shouldn't have, and come back.  Too often I haven't come back and begged for forgiveness, however.  Usually it's a quick "I'm sorry for doing thus and such" and then I leave it at that.  But marriage is a sacrament.  It is sacred.  I thought alot today about when Jesse and I were first married, when we were young (not that we're old now or anything) and how I took from the marriage what I believed was "owed" to me. I saw myself as the prodigal son.  It was a startling revelation for me.  Perhaps many of you understood this about yourselves long ago but I, in my smallness, hadn't.  I must admit I was ashamed.  I have often been self centered and thought only about what I felt was owed to me.  It was so refreshing to read these words today.  To learn how to correct my selfishness.  And how to become the wife that God wants me to be (and the wife that my husband deserves).  The BOOK I am reading has been such a gift to me and our marriage.  They should hand it out to the bride and groom at weddings.  It uncovers meanings of so many of the Gospels in terms of marriage and how we treat our spouses.  It really is one of the most eye opening books I've read so far on marriage.  I wish I had known about it years ago.  I plan to re read it when I finish as I'm sure there's more to uncover. 

I pray that every one's Lent is bearing good fruit.  The extra reading, prayer time, and my 40 bags in 40 days has been such a gift.  When there is so much beauty it hardly feels as though Lent is a sacrifice.  Have a blessed weekend!

Nothing's Better Than a Happy, Singing Toddler

Gratitude Sunday

For sisters who love each other and delight in playing together.  Honestly these two rarely fight and always include Clare in their games of house and play kitchen.

 For one last family meal until we see Brandon again. (We had all these treats to celebrate St. Joseph's Feast Day yesterday).

And for healthy kids, happy kids, the best parish we could dream of.  For friends that wave hello and strangers that compliment our kids.  For new dresses, big helpers, and happy memories.  So much to be grateful for!  Have a blessed week everyone!!!

PS - I think we've nearly hit our 40 Bags for 40 Days!  We may have to raise our goal!!  I hope you are all doing well with that also!!

A Day In the Life of a Mom

First, let me say this is satire.  I am beyond appreciative of ALL that God has given me.  I deserve none of it and I am aware of that.  I had a rough day today and wrote this up to vent my frustration.  It worked and I thought some other mothers might appreciate it.  It certainly has little (or no) gratitude language in it.  I get that.  We all have our bad days.  Take it for what it's worth.
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Wake up and come downstairs to people pushing bowls and spoons at you.  Pour them cereal and milk and screw up at least once or two things so that whomever you poured it for refuses to eat it.  Some may even throw the bowl on the floor.  Then they demand eggs.  Make them eggs. But you made scrambled not fried or vice versa.  They go uneaten.  Clean up the kitchen while toddler screams at your feet pulling out cups and bowls and spoons depositing them throughout the kitchen.  Step on at least one or two of these thing almost falling several times. Morning prayer.  Go to put in a load of laundry.  Toddler walks into the laundry room with you and puts dog food in the dog water.  Clean that up. Continue with the kitchen, clean out the fridge while toddler sneaks yogurt and opens/dumps it on the floor.  Start planning dinner.  Tell the kids five hundred times to get dressed and start school.  Continue laundry.  Now it’s 9 a.m.  Kids demand snacks.  Toddler hears “snack” and pulls every thing she can reach from the pantry and demands to eat it.  Break up at least three fights and put at least one kid in a time out.  Go upstairs to put laundry away and realize your room is trashed so you clean it up.  BUT while you are UPSTAIRS “they” are still downstairs.  Making HUGE messes.  Come down to cereal crunched on the floor, diapers pulled out, five hundred and fifty books pulled off the shelves.  And you still have to check math and do memory work.  It is now 10 a.m.  Snack time.  Officially.  And don’t forget those vitamins.  And water.  And juice.  And if you say no to juice and offer water be prepared to clean up the water off of the floor because it WILL get dumped and thrown at you.  Realize that you didn’t finish cleaning upstairs and that you need to finish a new project b/c after years of pregnancies, thyroid disease, miscarriages, and newborns the junk has really piled up.  Start on that project but remember, “they” are still out there.  Making messes.  And now it’s lunch time.  Stop said project and make disgruntled kids lunches they don’t want.  Listen to the whining (usually one kid is OK with what you make) and answer the question of “what’s for dinner”.  Listen to the whining about that and then answer the question of “when is it snack time?”.  When the toddler hears the word "snack" she pulls out every thing she can reach from the pantry again and demands to eat it.  Then she realizes you are cleaning the kitchen and the dishwasher is open.  She shoves things that don’t belong in the dishwasher in there and pulls sharp knives out and licks them.  The older toddler demands a diaper change every fifteen minutes.  Now it is 1:00.  OK, light at the end of the tunnel, right?  Nap time, maybe?  But when the smaller toddler hears “nap” she thinks “bath” and removes her clothing (or tries).  When you tell her it’s not bath time she throws herself on the floor and has a huge fit that lasts for a good fifteen minutes.  At this point the “can I watch…” or “can I play…” starts up.  And isn’t it violin day?  Or something like that?  OK, finish the kitchen, lay smaller toddler down.  Like a criminal escaping from prison hide in the dark laundry room with the door closed and try to put on your shoes, coat, and find your keys.  Sneak out but realize that you forgot something and then do without (usually it’s my coat that I forget).  Too bad, so sad.  There’s no going back.  Get at least one text of phone call while you are gone that so and so did thus and such  and they were so loud that the smaller toddler got only a 15 minute nap and could you hurry up and come home?  Come home to a HUGE mess and a screaming toddler.  Attempt to pick up, fold some more laundry, pay some bills, use your brain (do you even have a brain anymore??).  Oh, and you have to go to the bathroom.  You go into the bathroom and see that some thoughtful individual has deposited dirt/sand/cat food/urine/opened up an entire box of band aids all over the place.  Clean the bathroom counter, floor, and toilet.  Get the soaking wet washcloths and throw those in the wash. Head back to the bathroom but someone else is in there but the door is locked.  Wait your turn.  Go into the bathroom and find urine on the floor.  Again.  Repeat.  And plunge the toilet for the fifth time today.  Remember to go to the bathroom before you come out this time.  Snack time, clean up the house, try to force the kids outside.  Read some stories, get out the play dough and/or paint.  Do a craft.  Oops, forgot that memory work.  Do that.  Toddler is now upstairs destroying the bedroom you cleaned this morning.  Speaking of this morning didn’t you have a cup of coffee somewhere?  Drink cold, several hour old coffee because who has time to make more?  Diaper changes, finish dinner, set the table.  Finish laundry, clean up room again.  Finally it’s 5:00.  Listen to the kids ask “when is dinner” seven hundred times until daddy finally comes home and they can reject the dinner.  Now you have two choices.  You can either take the night “off” and deal with the laundry in the morning and any other mess that will accumulate OR you can keep moving.  Drink that black tea, take a brisk walk, and collapse at 10pm.  Or 11.  Then you can look forward to more of the same tomorrow and the lady behind the checkout counter at the grocery store asking “you don’t work do you?”.

Today Around the House

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!  Today we made shamrock rosaries. 

We also colored pictures of shamrocks.

Corned beef and cabbage is cooking in the crock pot and bread in the breadmaker (which hasn't gotten much use since I started the artisan bread but I felt like something different today.  I'm wild and crazy that way.

Grandma came by with some new dresses for the little girls. So unbelievably cute.  The picture doesn't do them justice.

The weather is beyond beautiful and the kids enjoyed some outside time.  Clare was filthy but oh so happy!

And Jesse and I got our "mom/dad 10" shirts in the mail yesterday.  What a fun surprise.  Mine should fit me for a few more minutes.....

The day is really only half over.  Katie is making some cookies with the little girls, I'm gearing up for an afternoon cup of coffee and continuing on with my 40 Bags in 40 Days project.  I think I'm up to about 20 bags of give aways, several bags of garbage, and lots of old furniture ready for pick up on Monday.  It feels great to get rid of so much stuff!  I hope your St. Patrick's Day is safe and fun!  God bless!

Here's a version of St. Patrick's Breastplate that we say each morning during our morning prayer:

Christ be in the eyes of all who see me

in the ears of all who hear me

on the lips of all who speak of me.

Christ be in the minds of all who think of me

Christ be in the hearts of all who love me

Christ be before me and behind me

Christ be above me and beneath me

Christ on my right and on my left

Christ be my all.

Amen

Second Chances

At the end of a super exhausting day it's all I can do to fold that last load of laundry.  I look around and see floors unswept and dishes undone.  The three oldest kids are at a prayer meeting.  I pray for their safe return.  I flop down unable to do anything but read and pray that I make it until bedtime.  I feel the little one inside squirming around.  She likes it when I'm moving.  When I stop moving she starts.   I think of the Gospel from yesterday (Matthew 25, 31-36) and I wonder if it's really true that what I do here in my house "counts".  I feel I should be out in the streets or praying outside of an abortion mill.  My volunteer days have all but come to a halt and all of my energy is spent here in our house with the kids.  Not heroic, nothing extraordinary or newsworthy.  Just the same routine over and over and over again.  Scrambling a dozen eggs, pouring water and juice, changing diapers, reading, schooling, making play dough.  Lots and lots of laundry.  In my heart I know it's a gift.  These children were prayed for and desired.  We have a home, a roof, windows, heat, clean water.  These are things I know are a blessing, a gift from God, and not something I have earned in any way.  But the days wear on me anyway.  At the beginning I thank God and at the end and throughout the day too.  I thank God for the girls that pull on my skirts and hang on me, for the boys that are always together sword fighting and practicing karate moves.  I thank God for the sound of violins, piano playing, and guitar music.  I wondered allowed to Brandon, Hannah, and Owen the other day how we can be so blessed, so touched by God yet our whole life doesn't reflect that.  I wonder how I can be so selfish, thoughtless, and greedy?  I pray to Jesus for those answers.  Brandon gave me a good one.  A comforting one (he's good at making me feel better).  He says conversion is life long.  I hope he's right.  I keep screwing up the same things.  I keep forgetting by the minute, hour, and day how blessed I am.  I pray for those less fortunate but forget how fortunate I am when dinner is burning and the kids are crying.  I will try to remember.  I know I will forget.  I will remember again.  Thank You God for second chances.  Thank You for bringing that Bible verse to my attention in several different ways the last few days.  Thank You for making me feel important and like I make a difference even though I don't make a dime.  God is good.  All the time!!


"Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me."

Tuesday Tales

We had our homeschool co op this morning.  The little boys received their yellow belts in their karate class.  Mary inherited their white belt senior belts and was very happy to do that.  Now she thinks she doesn't have to take the class :)

Cecilia and Mary have taken up playing Little House on the Prairie.  They love wearing the bonnets and I love watching them play.

I hope your Tuesday is going as well as ours is. 

Hail Mary

Hail Mary, full of grace, (last night I questioned who I am)

The Lord is with thee.  Blessed art thou amongst women (I feel odd, weird, and like I don't fit in in this world)

And blessed is the Fruit of your womb, Jesus (but when it was family rosary time my 1 year old knew what to do all on her own.  She got her rosary and climbed into this chair)

Holy Mary, Mother of God (Mary, please be a mother to me too.  Thank you for guiding me and for giving me signs that maybe, just maybe, I'm doing an OK job)

Pray for us sinners (I am trying my hardest to raise these souls for Christ)

Now and at the hour of our death.  (If my children know your Son, Mary, I will die peacefully)

Amen.

Gratitude Sunday

Another fast week.  It's still cold.  But my whole family was together long enough for a photo today.  I'm very grateful for that!!

The boys are loving their karate class and went for their yellow belt on Saturday.  I'm grateful for active boys that have goals and work to achieve them!

Finally I'm grateful for Clare and her love of babies.  She carries her baby around all day and insists that we all kiss the baby on a regular basis.  It's very sweet.  She will, however, scream at you if you do not kiss the baby quickly enough.

Have a blessed Sunday and a blessed week everyone!!!

Defeat or Victory? The Decision is Ours.

I love Target.  I'll admit it.  It's one of my favorite places to shop.  Well, it's about the only other place I shop besides Trader Joe's.  I must admit, however, seeing the big read Target sign makes my heart drop when I'm with Jesse or one of my kids.  Especially when summer is approaching.  I know as I walk through the door on the right hand side, larger than life, will be airbrushed women sporting the season's latest bikinis.  Almost as if the store didn't want to let me down, right on time, the women are plastered there again this year.  As Jesse and I walked to the checkout we were facing the exact direction of the enormous half naked women.  I use the term "women" but really, at closer look, they appear to be teenagers.  Probably 18 but maybe not.  My poor husband (and sons when they are with me).  They look down, to the right, to the left but there's no escape.  Cosmopolitan Magazine, Sports Illustrated (not usually at the front of Target except when their special issue is out) is there with it's "swimsuit" issue, in addition to a bunch of other garbage all with breasts and bellies and things that aren't even real.  Inappropriate DVD's are featured (most I've never even heard of) with the same visuals as the smut on the magazines on their covers.  The DVD's are particularly distressing to me because they are shelved next to Barney and Sesame Street.  I leave the store feeling defeated.  Occasionally I complain but the managers look at me like I have three heads.  I don't blame them.  An overweight, middle aged, usually pregnant, mother of many complaining about half naked and attractive women probably isn't all that meaningful.  To them it's me being prudish or jealous.  To me it's my heart breaking for the women in these magazines, DVD's, and plastered on the walls.  It's me feeling worried about what this world holds for my sons and daughters.  Are my beautiful daughters doomed to a life of feeling inadequate?  And my sons can't so much as get a pack of gum without being tempted and scandalized.  If you know me at all you know that I don't watch the news or know much about pop culture.  It's been hard to avoid the talk of Charlie Sheen in the last week or so, however.  They were even discussing it on my favorite Catholic Radio programs though in a much more charitable way then what I saw being said on Facebook.  The irony is that the culture creates the Charlie Sheen's of the world.  We build these stars up and then watch them collapse.  We talk about them as if we, ourselves, have no log in our eyes.  Yet we sit back and watch the human body become nothing more than a thing, an object, a body without a face.  When women like myself complain to store managers it's all but meaningless.  We need men, real men, to complain.  Not once but over and over again.  We need our sons and daughters to know that their dignity doesn't lie in how they look but in who.they.are.  We need to stop letting our daughters walk around in immodest clothing tempting boys (and men).  It's hard to find modest clothing for girls once they reach age 10 or so.  But it is possible.  It's not only possible it is our duty as parents to protect our sons and daughters.  Pornography is everywhere yet few people are willing to admit the damage it does.  It starts with Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues and escalates quickly.  We as a society (and shame on us who call ourselves Christians yet turn a blind eye) are allowing families to break up, children to not know where they belong, daughters with eating disorders, and boys who are confused about what beauty really is.  My heart gets heavier every time I see this.  I know this isn't God's plan.  It's Satan's.  Maybe I sound like the old SNL's Church Lady.  Maybe I'm sick of feeling less than because I'm not airbrushed and I look like a woman that has had 9 babies and 14 pregnancies.  I don't care.  I will die a happy woman if my children grow up knowing that the human body is the tabernacle of the soul.  It's beauty doesn't lie in the size of it's waist but in the invaluable gift it protects.  We are all made in the image and likeness of God.  All of us.  No matter what we look like.  Those women on the magazines are made in God's image too.  They just don't know it.  Our culture is so desensitized that before long those women won't be wearing anything at all.  Modesty and custody of the eyes are not for the weak.  They are for the strong!  They are for the people who are blessed enough to know who they are as sons and daughters of the King of Kings.  Please help protect our children.  The next time you're in a store ask them to, at the very least, cover up those magazines!!  Busch's grocery store does this and even though their prices can be a bit high I find myself drawn to their store.  And if you're doubtful that pornography is harmful visit THIS site.  The stories are very real and very heartbreaking.  Many started with a magazine or idle curiosity.  (This site, while not offensive, is not for children or teenagers).  And if you made it this far into my rant then God bless you!  Usually about five minutes after I've left the store I start to feel as though maybe we can turn this around.  I pray that we can.  All of us.  Our children deserve better.  We all deserve better.

Today Around the House

Yet another cold and gloomy day outside.  Inside we are working hard to get a good start on our 40 Bags in 40 Days Lenten Challenge.  I've divided the house up into small areas so I don't overwhelm myself.  After my morning chores of dishes, laundry, and schooling the smaller kids I set out for my area of the day.  Today it was an out of control pile on a dresser in our hallway.  I, of course, always have lots of little helpers.  Clare likes to undo all that I get done (and unload the bags I've filled).  Cecilia really *was* helpful today and delivered random items to the rooms they belonged in.  She was very proud of her accomplishments and I was grateful for the help.  If I ever want to know how to get rid of the 6 and 8 year old boys I only need to say "can I get some help here?".  They magically disappear.  So, yahoo for a few more bags packed up and ready to go!

I try to also plan an activity for the afternoon that does not involve too much cleaning.  Today I made granola and "healthy" (as Sam would call them) granola bars.  We have given up sweets for Lent so we replaced things like chocolate chips with dried blueberries.  Samuel was not a fan of that at all.  He's not really a fruit and veggie guy, unfortunately. 

And three BIG cheers for the "grocery store game" that the kids have been enjoying.  They separate all the foods to their proper department, some are workers in the store, some are shoppers.  Clare is a tornado that comes through wreaking havoc on all departments.  All of the kids (10 and under) are having a blast playing this game.  I love these games that go on for hours and involve little or no fighting!!

Tonight is leftovers for dinner with some fresh baked bread (which always makes leftovers seem more exciting).  Brandon comes home tomorrow for a week!  Everyone is counting the hours until he is here!!  Have a blessed day everyone!