Perhaps it's a theme in every generation "what's wrong with kids these days?". Today is the Feast of the Holy Family. Our homily at Mass (and I'm sure most other people's too) was about the importance of the family in society. Much is misrepresented and misunderstood about the role of husband and wife as it pertains to the Bible and the Catholic Church. I was once at Mass (not at our current parish) when the lector announced before reading Ephesians 5:22-25 "Don't blame me ladies, I didn't write it, I'm just reading it". The passage says this
"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy"
I love that passage. It's so beautiful. What that lector, and many other people, didn't understand was that the Bible doesn't tell a wife to submit to her husband in a way that is unhealthy or abusive (although many men use the passage in that way). He says this to establish order in the home and family. The husband is the "head" or leader of the family just like Christ is the leader of the Church. Sorry, ladies, but it's OK (and right) to expect (and allow) your husband to lead your family. Husbands should lead their families as Christ leads the Church. I'm super glad that isn't MY job because Christ DIED for His Church. That means our husbands should lay down their lives for us and our children. That's a heavy load to carry. I recently read the book "
Boundaries in Marriage" by J.Townshend. He puts it like this "He (the husband) looks out for her (the wife's) growth and best interest, cleanses her from guilt, provides resources for her growth, and protects her from the world, the flesh, and the devil". Whoa. Yes. I will submit to that. I need and desire that type of protection. Back to my opening statement, though. What's wrong with kids today? Families are a mess. Husbands are caught up in TV, video games, pornography, etc. Wives are getting caught up in the same things. No one is looking out for the kids and few are unified in a way that brings glory to the family or to God.
Since my study of the Civil War this fall I've been questioning if "real" men exist anymore (don't clobber me....I know there are military fighting all over the world and I pray for them and honor them). Further I wonder about women and *their* roles in all of this mess. So many of us have just been told to stuff our morals and "get with the times". Icons like Oprah or Katie Couric have "enlightened" women so that they will accept their husband's morally immature (and sinful) behavior and shrug it off as a "boys will be boys" kind of thing. It's hard to stand up and speak the truth when you are persecuted for that truth. It's hard to say no to your kids when everyone else is saying yes. Last night Jesse and I watched a movie about
St. Rita of Cascia. She was strong enough to speak out, to tell her husband that his actions were wrong (but still remain his wife, grant compassion, mercy and forgiveness) and even after she had lost everything she clung to the cross (and climbed up there on it with Jesus if you ask me). I'm ashamed of all the times I backed down because I was too afraid to speak up. I'm ashamed of the times I spoke up in a way that was condemning and judgmental thus shutting down the people I was hoping to reach. I'm ashamed of the times I just wanted to be *right* instead of wanting to save a soul. I've done this out in the world but I've also done this in my home, in my family, in my domestic Church. I've grown tired and complacent, thrown up my arms and have been tempted to turn away from Him because it's just too hard.
Perhaps our society is no more difficult than those before us. Perhaps "kids today" are the same as they always have been. I'm not sure about either of those things but I do know that it's time for men to be the men that God has called them to be and it's time for women to let them be those men. I pray that God will help me to encourage, pray for, and love my husband so that he is able to be that man in Ephesians 5 and so that our children will know the love of family just as Jesus did. We should all desire to be saints and spend our lives trying to become them. We should all desire a better world for our children and grandchildren. It's getting harder and harder to believe that vision can become a reality but I believe it's possible. In my own life I've had to spend a fair amount of time examining myself, repenting, and then moving forward. Usually it's a bit of a "two steps forward and one step back" kind of thing but life is a journey and I hope I have many miles left to travel. I look to the Holy Family for constant inspiration and encouragement and I've memorized that passage in Ephesians. Happy Feast everyone. May God watch over you and your families in the year to come.
"It is pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels."
St. Augustine
