It happens to me every late August/early September. My Facebook news feed is packed with back to school pictures. Kids in uniforms and new clothes, lunch boxes and school buses. I look around and think a) really it's still summer. It's hot. And we are still sleeping in way too late. b) I JUST finished my school a couple of weeks ago. I'm hardly ready to jump back into the school thing.
Still there's the longing. The fond memories of my childhood. A new school year, new room, new teachers. I second guess my calling to home school. I realize I'm completely inadequate yet again. This year I'll have two 12th graders, one 9th grader, one 6th grader, one 4th grader, two 2nd graders, a kindergartner and 3 little ones ages 3 and under. I have gone from the hands on, no work book mom to the 100% work book mom that's begging for math tutors and is grateful for the new co op starting at our church. Gone are the days when I leisurely home schooled Brandon from bookstores and parks while my three little ones played along side of us. Now it's more of an event, everyday. I have to time it all out and fit in cooking and cleaning and laundry. I am eternally grateful for Amazon prime and iPad spelling apps (sorry old me. It's just how it is now). Every fall I have to remind myself that come winter I'll be grateful we aren't leaving the house in the dead of (what seems to me like) night. The younger kids have been asking for three weeks when we "get to" start school. I keep putting it off. The reality is that they will do 4700 pages in their work books the first week and then do nothing without threats until Christmas break. The baby will arrive and we will take a break. Or I will. I can bed school., I guess. My last four babies were born at more "convenient" times. Three in the dead of summer and one on the first day of Christmas break I'm completely NOT complaining. I can't believe we get to have a baby again!! I'm super excited and am driving Jesse a little nuts with my refusal to allow this baby boy to wear anything pink form his five older sisters. Not politically correct, I know, but still...
The big kids still need books and tutors. They outsmarted me about 10 grades ago. Maybe they deserve better than what I can offer. Well, they DO deserve better than what I can offer. But like I told Jesse the other night - if God has brought me here then He will provide what is needed. We're kind of cutting it close this year, though.
We are praying daily for all of our friends and family. Those who attend brick and mortar schools and those who learn to read on their couch at home. I am so grateful that we have choices in our country about where to educate our children. I'm grateful that I get to decide when and how we will do school and for all the support we receive. Happy back to school, not back to school, or whatever your family calls it.
