My Mission To Heaven {On Living With Intention}

 

"And find out what pleases the Lord.  Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.  It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.  But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.  This is why it is said:

Wake up sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."

Ephesians 5: 10-14

 

I used to wonder about the phrase "living intentionally".  It kind of annoyed me, to be honest.  I wondered who doesn't live with intention?  Don't most people?  I have thought of the phrase several times in the last couple of months.  As things came up in our lives that required serious prayer and discernment I thought "maybe this is living with intention?".  Doing something with an end game in mind - maybe that is intentional living?  Then I realized that pretty much every waking moment of my life involves "living with intention".  All of my decisions, actions, and daily choices have an end game in mind.  Will (whatever decision, action, or activity) bring me closer to God and/or closer to my husband and kids?  If the answer is no then I don't do it.  But some things aren't a clear yes or no.  That's when discernment comes in.  I read Scripture daily and have a mostly ongoing conversation going with God.  I know that fear is NEVER from God nor is it's pesky close friend worry.  I try to eliminate those from my discernment processes as much as possible.  Of course there are certain things (like playing in the road) that could bring about fear but really that's just a dumb thing to do and SHOULD make you take pause and not do it....but I digress.  My point here is that my personal mission is, as Hannah would say, to get to Heaven and take as many people with me as I can.  So living with intention is REALLY important. 

 

(Necessary for co op day - brought to me by a friend)

 

I begin every morning giving thanks to God for His love and mercy.  I thank Him for another day.  Then I get out of bed and mostly don't sit down (aside from nursing the baby) for 12-14 hours.  Sometimes I get to drive kids around and that involves sitting (bonus!).  But everything I do or don't do involves my mission to get to Heaven.(Yes the discipline of doing laundry, housecleaning, and other chores brings us closer to God and our mission to Heaven).  Over the years I've had to die to self and give up television, movies, most leisure activities.  I've replaced those things with more prayer, more chores, more intention.  I go through the day and remind myself of where I am and where I hope to be one day.  Jesus is the center and my family is a close second.  As I have been typing this post I have nursed Augustine and sent him on his way only to be replaced by Frances who is playing a fun game of "how quickly can I delete mom's post?"

 

Today was our second co op day of the week.  While it's less work for me than many of those who attend it's still a lot of work.  It involves a baby on my back in the back pack, carrying a toddler, pushing a double stroller all over creation....day one of the co op involves teaching and other jobs.  Both days mean NO naps for babies or toddlers.  And a late 5 minute power nap for the pre schooler who will then stay up until all hours with all of her energy.  It's a sacrifice but wow the pay off is amazing.  Those in charge must have read my personal and family mission because for all it's work it brings everyone closer to God and it brings our family closer together.  It fits perfectly into my intentional living manifesto.  But, like everything else, it requires dedication, hard work, and sacrifice.  I have to plan meals (like really plan them and usually prepare them) ahead.  I have to ask God for the Grace to do that.  It requires discipline getting to bed at a reasonable hour, getting everyone up and out the door and leaving the house clean so I don't come home to a mess.  And there it is again - living with intention.  Intentionally planning meals and chores around those activities that will lift my family closer to God. 

 

I'm not so naïve as to believe that what I'm doing now, in September, will still get done in November or December.  I may not keep up.  I may get sick, kids get sick, if I was in early pregnancy then forget about it...but then I would need to tweak things a bit and continue with my mission. 

 

(End of the co op day....)

 

I see the moms and dads at co op living out their lives with intention and they inspire me.  Planning amazing classes, showing up early and with a bunch of kids in tow....it's HARD.  What a blessing to know so many people who are giving up their time for my kids.  They don't get paid a dime.  They do it because they love God and their families and that pours out into my family.   These are people that don't walk with the mainstream....they walk against the wind in most things that they do.  Society maybe wouldn't give those of us in this vocation a second thought.  But God, God sees.  And I so appreciate every single one of these amazing people.  So now I think I *get* what living intentionally means and I'm grateful for the opportunity to try and do it. 

 

 ^"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise,  making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.  Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.  Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,  speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord,  always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Ephesians 5: 15-20

 

 

 

Jesus In My Heart {Ramblings On The New School Year}

The new school year is in full swing.  Co Op, sports, religious education classes.  It's ON.  All of it.  I'm pouring coffee down my throat fast and furious.  The crock pot has been dusted off and is being put to good use and meal planning is an absolute MUST.  This fall I'm planning by the month.  In all the hectic madness that is a life with a dozen kids, homeschooling, and regular life I'm absolutely coveting my time with Jesus.  Multiple times a day I go back to Him and His Word.  If I don't, things go bad quickly.  Sometimes when I sit to nurse Augustine I hit the Facebook App on my phone but then I remember that the App I NEED to be tapping is the one that will lead me to Him and His Word.  His Grace is there for me in those moments of screaming toddlers and school yet to be finished.  It's there for me when what I really want to do is scream and rant or play the martyr.  And just a few minutes of Him has me basking in the Light of His Mercy for hours afterwards.  At one of my favorite chapels to attend Mass it says this over the doors:

"Prayer takes time, and saints pray and get more done in less time"

 

 

Now, of course, in my vocation that doesn't mean lengthy, contemplative prayer that goes on for hours.  But just a few minutes at a time or a page or two of one of my many devotional books keeps me chugging along. Frequent Confession and Eucharist is also a must in my life.  The GRACES are amazing and I'm so very grateful for them.   

 

 

Frances (2) has taken to telling me "Jesus is in my heart, Mommy".  I wonder if an angel is whispering that in her ear because ever since she started saying that I have been trying to see the HEARTS in people instead of looking at their outward appearance.  Also, it has reminded me to check and see what (or Who or who) is in MY heart.  I want it to be a WHO.  I want it to be Him, Jesus.  I want Jesus in my heart too - at the center - on the throne.  But darn it if sometimes it's not pride or envy or a number of other sinful things that take center stage in my heart.  Prayer, many times a day, helps to put Jesus back in the center.  I wish it was just a one and done thing.  I wish I didn't have to check myself several times a day based on feelings, how things are going, what that kid is doing, what my house looks like, or what I think is owed to me from this person or that person.  Maybe someday I'll get better at it.  Maybe someday I will be that holy person.  But for now I'm the one that falls and falls a lot.  But God sends me Grace anyhow.  He blesses it.  All of it.  My pathetic prayers are multiplied and I do get more done the more that I pray and keep God at the center. 

 

 

Our Pastor often says that "We have a Savior Who loves to save."  Thank goodness we do because He has to save me dozens of time each day and mostly from myself.  My negative thoughts and attitudes pour out over Jesse, the kids, and those around me.  In my mind's eye I can see Jesus burying His Hands in His Face and shaking His head.  It's like when I see the little ones falling off of the same chair again and again, He probably wants to shout "WHEN will you learn?" at me.  Instead He picks me up, helps me dust off, and I begin again.  Recently I apologized to Jesse about something (which I also seem to need to do a lot...stress comes out on those closest to me) and I thought "wow I really screw up a ton, don't I?  It seems I'm always saying that I need to begin again."  I have been pondering that for a few days.  Today I changed our virtue that we are working on to Industriousness (diligence, especially in work, that leads to natural and supernatural maturity) and Cecilia said she had something to say about it.  She said that, to her, industriousness means never giving up even if you mess up a lot. 

 

So as September marches on I will continue to pray for the powerful and transforming Love that can only come from Him.  I will try to remember Ann Vaskomp's phrase that life isn't an emergency.  I will give thanks each day and encourage my children to do the same counting even the inconveniences JOY for it is those inconveniences that are (hopefully) growing me in the very virtue I need to become the Saint I wish to be one day. 

 

The prayer on the back of the Industriousness cards says this :

Heavenly Father,

You have given me the gift of this day, the gift of this moment.  Help me to use my time well.  Give me the grace to do all for Your greater glory.

 

AMEN





Happy 15th Birthday Katie!!

15 years ago today this sweet girl showed up earthside and what a delight she has been to parent.  And easy going baby turned truly JOYfilled young lady with a heart for small children and Jesus.

Katie requested that we take a trip to Greenfield Village today and the weather was amazing!  We had a great trip with most of the kids, grandma and grandpa, and some friends too!!  Later we celebrated with fried chicken, cheesecake, and then she went to volunteer with the Church middle schoolers at the FUEL prayer meeting. 

Katie is classic and still LOVES the 1950's and I Love Lucy.  A friend recently told me that Katie's joy is contagious.  What a gift.

 

 

Happy Birthday Katie!!  We love you!

 

Augustine's Life In iPhone Photos (LOTS of Chalkboard Art Ahead)

 

When I was pregnant with Augustine we were told he had a kidney issue (most likely only one working kidney).  So we trusted in God and asked our friends for prayer.  God, of course, works in mysterious ways.  Thanks to the awesomeness that is social media (sorry but for many things, including prayer, it's POWERFUL) Augustine had tons of people praying for him before he ever made his earthside debut.  Little did we know his issues would be much different and significantly worse than we could have predicted and didn't involve his kidneys at all.

 

 

 

 

(After two long days I FINALLY got to hold my little guy.  One of the best days of my life, for sure.)

 

Thanks to all the prayers from the most amazing people that I know (and those that I don't) we went from this (above) to this (below) in a MONTH!  The rest is history.  Active, healthy, blessing of a baby...praise God!  Chalk art carefully imagined up and drawn by his dedicated daddy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And BAM he's 1.  Just like that.  This mama's heart is rejoicing and a little sad at the thought of him being so big already.  Sometimes he still falls asleep on me and I remember that first day when I held him...but those moments are flying by too quickly. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy First Birthday Augustine!!

Today Augustine John Paul Pio turned 1 year old!  I can't even believe how quickly this year has gone.  I can't believe what he went through in those first few days of his life. I still remember the little blip on the ultra sound screen all those months ago.  I remember thinking "Really God?  Is this the "best" time to have a baby?"  But God knows best and what JOY Augustine has brought into our lives.  You would think by baby number 12 I would have this down.  Augustine has shaken things up and taught us things about parenting that we never knew.  Our family is so very blessed to have Augustine in our lives.

 

Today was the first day of our homeschool Co Op so Augustine got to attend Mass on his birthday and spend the day at our parish.  The weather was fabulous and we got a nice long walk in.  Later we sang Happy Birthday with Grandma and Grandpa (after they returned from Katie's volleyball game).

 

 

I can't wait to see what year number 2 has in store for this sweet guy!

Back To {Home} School

It's back to school time already!  Here that means we add in school work after our morning prayer and before lunch.  It also means the return to co op and sports and religious ed.  I'm not completely ready but also not unready.  It's the normal ebb and flow of our life, I guess, we're still here all day even in summer or fall or winter.  Meals still need to be made and laundry done.  It was the allure of being able to do it all at once (school, parenting, and chores) that first led me to homeschooling 15 years ago.  At that time our Faith wasn't front and center like it is now.  Now homeschooling allows us to bring the Faith into every aspect of our family life including our children's education.  When I first started homeschooling we had four children.  I recall the quiet days of just enjoying time with the kids.  We went on a lot of field trips.  It was nice.  As our family has grown and our household is significantly busier those quiet times and field trips are less but I still wouldn't trade the time with my children.  With Brandon living 10 hours away and Hannah attending college for the first time this year (and although she is living here she's really not usually here and I miss her!!) I don't regret all the years I spent with them here.  That's not to say that this is an easy life (is anyone's?) or to say that I like the school part of homeschool (I don't, really).  But I do think that the extra time with the kids, for me, is invaluable.  I hope they feel the same.  There are a lot of misconceptions about homeschooling.  One is that we (homeschoolers) keep them home to keep them out of the world (Christ says we should go INTO the world and share His Word).  I don't know about other people but we don't keep our children home to keep them out of the world.  I legitimately enjoy my kids (most days) and also believe that being a wife and mother is my vocation (gasp - sorry feminists). 

 

I repeat - that does not mean that this (or being pregnant or having a dozen kids) is easy for me.  That's another misconception that I hear "It must be easy for you.....".  No.  And that's all I have to say about that.

(2 year olds get three pictures because they are adorable)

 

I am also not super smart or particularly organized and I do not get up early.  Ever.  Unless forced to by that pesky co op....

 

We don't all sit around a table while I teach from the chalk board.  Usually I can't find half the kids, I have a sticky baby on my hip, a cup of cold coffee in my hand, and I have to say "what did you need?" 20 times.  There's a toddler crawling on the table and usually food burning on the stove.  It's quaint....

 

But then they learn to read or write or discover something really cool and everyone celebrates the accomplishment, together, as a family, in the middle of the day.  That's nice.  It is. 

 

So happy new school year to everyone (regardless of how you do school) and prayers for a safe and healthy year. 

 

The years are passing before my eyes and I know soon enough I'll have less and less children living under our roof until the quiet is enough to make me want to scream.  I'd like to say I relish in the chaos but I don't.  I survive it, mostly.  But I try to find snip its of time where I can take it all in and save the memories for another day.