Summer is winding down, it seems. While the clean slate of June, July, and August once lay out before me like an artist's canvas the emails for Fall commitments are now pouring in. I won't lie, when I see some of the subject lines my stomach tightens a bit. I feel like summer is being stolen away and the other necessary aspects of life are replacing it. This year we didn't take a vacation (or last year or the year before). I tried to make it fun for the kids here, day trips (only a few happened), new activities (like kinetic sand and the newest game from OSMO), popsicles, S'mores, two nights of fireworks, and a day filled with awesome praise and worship music and mass. I had many books on my booklist. Some I finished, some I didn't. The kids and I "Traveled the World" with books and a few videos. Summer was good for us, I think. So now it's time to embrace what's next.
On your mark, get set, school.....This year we are doing a full Tuesday co op, Atrium classes for some, Thursday co op for one, Hannah is planning her wedding, and Owen is starting college. To keep things somewhat balanced I have the job of saying yes or no to kids when they request activities. Dinner time is SACRED to me. Rarely do we not eat together. It's true that the college kids can't always be here but the others need to be. I detest activities that interfere with the dinner hour. It's hard because I also hate saying no. We are blessed to live in an area that offers ALOT of good things. But sometimes we have to say no to good things in order to keep the best things (prayer life, family time, sanity of mom, time for Jesse and I to walk each night) as top priority. Life is a delicate balance, after all. With Brandon several states away and Hannah preparing to begin her new life I am constantly reminded how precious the time together as a family is and how quickly time goes. I am forever grateful for the moments we have had together no matter if we vacationed to far off places or sat on our front porch. Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring; it's all the same when we have each other. And so in the blink of an eye the green leaves will fade into the beautiful colors of Fall. The calendar will turn and we will crack open our new school books with eager anticipation of what comes next while keeping our feet firmly planted in the present.
In all honesty the rhythm of our days doesn't change much from season to season. That's one thing I really treasure about homeschooling. I don't even make the kids get up extra early on "school days". There's no need, usually, and I like it that way. The evenings are what get a little jammed up but that's life in a family, life in a larger than usual family. I try to keep prayer the center of it all and not get harried. Once upon a time I thought harried was where it was. I thought that meant I was important. Really all it meant was that I was harried, uptight, and unhappy. So I try to embrace the word "simple" now. For me I never want to be "too busy" to read a story to a toddler, make a meal for a friend in need, or run an errand for an older kid or Jesse. Do I do this perfectly? Nope. Do I need help sometimes? Yep. Do I covet every prayer from every person? YES. I think over the years I've learned what works for me, for our family, and what doesn't. After much prayer and discernment I had to make peace with the fact that I'm not like so and so and that's OK. One book I listened to over the summer was "The Story of a Soul" by St. Therese of Lisieux and through her writing I was reminded, once again, that if we were all the same life would be boring. I look at the vast differences in our children and I see how valuable each child is in their own way. And so it is for the rest of us. As Theodore Roosevelt once said "comparison is the thief of joy". That's something I have to remind myself of everyday, especially during this time of "back to school" when all the Instagram pictures seem to show put together homes, kids, lunch boxes, and schedules. The question I may have finally answered for myself this summer (thanks to THIS book and much prayer) is *who does HE say that I am?* I don't need to worry about who does he think my friend, my husband, my neighbor is, but ME. Who is God calling me to be? That answer may be different today than it will be next year but it's at the forefront of my brain. Most importantly He says that I am His daughter, called by name and precious in His sight. So as the school year inches ever closer He has gifted me with new insight and a zeal that is needed to get me through the sometimes long days (especially battling morning sickness at the moment). Grace. He has it in abundance. Following the path that He has for myself and my family eases the transitions of seasons and continues to teach me to trust and have faith.
