When You've Really Just Been A Mess {And You Still Are....And It's OK}

Hannah graduated high school this spring and is preparing to attend college at the very place I began my college career 23 years ago.  I wanted to get her a small gift so I dropped in at the bookstore today and then took a walk around campus.  Things have changed significantly since I was there both on the campus and in my life.  As I walked around different memories flooded my mind.  Good ones and bad.  I prayed as I walked, something I'm sure I never did back then, and I was in awe of what a mess my life was then....and what a mess it is now.  And how life is always kind of a mess.  Different messes at different times but a mess always.  Reading about Bible heroes and Saints helps keep me moving when discouragement and the evil one want to keep me down.  Countless Old Testament "superstars" were hot messes.  Some even did worse things than I have (gasp).  Grateful for His Word in my life each day I am reminded of the words of St. Matthew "But the one who endures to the end will be saved." (Mathew 24:13).  So it's not how we start the race but how we end.  Now that's truly good news.

I recall the homily that St. Padre Pio gave (and probably others too) about the child sitting at his mother's feet while she cross stitched.  The child only saw the under part - the ugly - the mess.  But when his mother finished he saw the other side and how beautiful it was.  I see pictures of my family, my life, and I think that's how it is.  Those on the outside may look on and think "her life is easy/perfect/it's always been good" but the underside - it's a mess.  Others may look at our lives and  think "their life is a mess" in a way that sounds condemning and judgmental.  Like a mess can never be made right or look good.  We may think that about ourselves and continue down wrong paths or let our pride keep us from obtaining the support we need.  We are embarrassed of our mess.  But we are made for community, support, and love.  Our mess wasn't meant to be carried alone.  We have the horrors of abortion and the hugely large divorce rate because we try to hide our messes and carry them alone.  Reaching out to others and accepting help isn't a weakness (that's a lie that satan tries to tell us) but a way to enrich our lives and survive even when we think we cannot carry on for another day.

 

(This little sweetie turned 2 on July 25.  Happy Birthday Frances!)

Lately, I've been asking God to show me what true forgiveness looks like.  I have always thought of it as good, neat, freeing.  Something that makes us feel like all is well with the world around us.  But last night in prayer I saw Jesus' body up on that cross and I thought "that's forgiveness".  A mess.  Christ crucified is messy.  It's also love, mercy, forgiveness, and so much more.  The best worst day.  That's what Good Friday is.  Meditating on the cross doesn't make me feel JUST good and happy.  It makes me feel sorrow for my sins but also joyful for the gift of mercy.  Recalling the stations of the cross and how Christ fell on the way up, needed help, was sweating, struggling...He was a mess.  Of course He was sinless and suffering for us.   I chose my mess and my struggles in one way or another.  But seeing the mess that it all was, the underside, and eagerly awaiting the finished product of beauty (aiming for Heaven here) gives me the strength to go on.

 

Before I understood the mercy of Jesus I felt bogged down by all the sin I committed on a daily basis.  Like every sin was one more step AWAY from Heaven.  We know sin definitely separates us from God but we also know that Christ Crucified offers us forgiveness and a way to have our relationship with God restored (the sacrament of Reconciliation - go often!!).  We can take our mess and leave it at the feet of Jesus and walk away free.  When we forgive others it can sometimes look a mess.  One day we have the grace to laugh and feel joyful.  Other days something happens and we are taken back to our pain and grief.  For me, understanding that life and forgiveness is often just a coming together of messes gives me what I need to move forward one day at a time.

One last thing, today is the feast of St. Martha, someone I've always felt akin to since I'm forever making meals and cleaning up (it seems).  I have felt defeated when I read about her in the past - about how she is worrying about cleaning and cooking "too much".  That's a whole separate post of mine BUT when I read the Gospel for today, specifically this part:

“I am the resurrection and the life;
whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live,
and anyone who lives and believes in me will never die.
Do you believe this?” (and more specifically this part)
She said to him, “Yes, Lord.
I have come to believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God,
the one who is coming into the world.”

Martha made progress.  She was convicted by Jesus in her mess that she was trying to make clean and she made progress.  I hope I am making progress each day as I sift through, fall down, and get back up. 

Thank you, Jesus, for the dawn of each new day and the ability to start again.  Thank you for loving me in my mess.  And thank You for taking my mess and turning it into a beautiful creation.  May I strive only to glorify You in all that I do, no matter how messy that looks.  Amen

Raising Kids Who Read {Kindle or Real Books?}

Some of my best memories are long summer days spent in my room reading.  I would sprawl across my bed and read to my heart's content.  I mostly read and re-read the Little House on the Prairie series repeatedly.  The pictures in my head of prairie life captivated me in a way no TV show or movie ever could. 

As I grew older my piles of books multiplied.  Poetry books, magazines, I would even inhale the TV Guide (remember that....).  Before I knew it was reading parenting books, marriage books, books on homeschooling, and the stories of the Saints.  Being in a book store brought peace to my soul.  With the dawn of the internet and my beloved Amazon.com (sorry...it's easy and cheap) my visits to book stores decreased.  With Amazon there was no need to sift through piles of undesirable books or be assaulted with offensive magazines on the end caps to find the book I was looking for.  Not to mention trudging through those places with half a dozen or more kids wasn't quite as quaint as it had been when I was only shepherding 3 or 4 children.  We did spend a lot of time in the library but, again, as times changed so did the content available (both books and on the computers) and I think they built the new wing at the Plymouth library from my overdue fines alone...so...Amazon it was.  THEN it happened.   The Kindle.  I remember when Jesse bought me my first kindle.  I had been reading on my ipod via the kindle app for about six months.  He said it was my "thanks for having our tenth baby" gift.  I didn't really need a gift beyond the baby but I took it.  It was a whole new world.  I could find a book that I wanted it and within seconds there it was in my hand.  And many times the books were cheaper than the real books.  Now I can carry dozens and dozens of books and periodicals in my purse. 

 

Times changed yet again and the kindle made way for the ipad and eventually I preferred to just read on my phone which is where I'm at now.  But a funny thing has happened in our house....the kids don't like kindle books.  They prefer real ones.  I was never really attracted to the kindle versions of children's books but I was surprised (and a bit dismayed because of the cost difference) that the older kids didn't like reading on Kindle. And I must admit that I miss the thrill (and smell) of a new book.  I miss how "new" feels.  But every time I splurge on a real book for myself it ends up on the shelf half read....I read at night, late, when the lights are off.  The iPhone kindle app is ideal for that.  I know people read many real books years before the idea of a smart phone or tablet was invented, and I did too, but the ease of the kindle app is just so perfect for my state in life right now.

I do stand behind the belief, though, that if you surround your children with books and if you read to them they will love reading.  Maybe not at first, maybe not at age 12, and maybe not all the time and forever but at some point it will draw them in.  For us, finding the right books has been key.  The books that Brandon loved sit untouched by most of the younger kids. They just aren't interested.  So we try other things and get other (trusted) recommendations from friends and family.  I used to pre read what they read but I'm not doing that right now.

 

 

How about your family?  Do you prefer real books or kindle or a mix of both?  I hope you are all enjoying some extra reading time this summer as we are.  As a homeschooling mom I've had the honor and privilege of having a front row seat when my children learn to read.  It's one of my very favorite things about being a mom and about homeschooling.  Jesse spends a great deal of time each night reading various chapter books to the kids that he puts to bed that night.  What a gift to our children.  Whichever book style you prefer read to your kids! It's one of the very best gifts you can give them.

 

When You Don't Feel Good Enough

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Matthew 11:28

Just last night I did it again.  I lay in bed unable to sleep and counted all the ways I'm not good enough.  Financial stress, the ability to parent each of these children (and adults) as they deserve to be parented, the energy and resources to be the wife that God has called me to be....it weighed heavily.  I tossed and turned all night.  My mind replayed all the failures from the previous day, previous week, previous forever.  It was ironic (or not...) that I awoke to a new day with the Gospel reading being Matthew 11:28. I pondered how I had gone to Jesus so many years ago yet my yoke seems heavier, not lighter, most days.  Of course that's my scrupulous mind and the whisperings of the evil one,  not Jesus.  HE does give me rest.  But do I take it?  Do I accept it?  I have to admit that I really do not do either of those things.  In my attempt to control I reject the gift of rest from Jesus.  And how I see myself directly affects my ability to be all the things I want to be - in a very negative way.

(Augustine turned 10 months last week but I neglected to post the picture here)

 

We live in a world that is happy to tear us down in a heart beat and tell us all the things that are wrong with us.  Yet we still look for our fulfillment and validation in this world.  When I lay awake I need to be looking to the One Who made me. He is the ONLY One for whom I will ever truly be "(more than) good enough". 

 

A variety of interactions over the past few days got me thinking about how women, especially, are hard on themselves AND hard on eachother.  It really inhibits our ability to make and keep authentic friendships.  I have friends who could seriously knit a full wardrobe for their kids while I can't even knit a chain....I have friends who have had a ton of kids and are still a size 2 and look 21.  Just last week the girls attended a day camp at a friend's house.  She has 12 kids and still managed to pull of this amazing camp that blessed us greatly.  For all of those things and more I think "I could never do that".  And often instead of celebrating who these women are and how they bless those around them I feel small in their presence.  I feel small in the presence of magazine covers and even facebook posts...

 

When I see those things, think those things, feel those things I wonder "how is my burden light?  This feels oppressive.  Not light"  Again not His fault.  Mine. 

 

St. John Paul II is quoted as saying “We are not the sum of our weaknesses and failures, we are the sum of the Father's love for us and our real capacity to become the image of His Son Jesus.”   And for me, that quote is key.  I need to keep in prayer and keep HIM at my center.  I need to look at those who can do what I cannot as a gift to this crazy world in a way that I cannot be because that is not God's plan for me.  "I can do ALL things through Christ Who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13) but I can never do that which He doesn't will for me to do.  And that's OK.  I tell my kids if we were all the same life would be boring. I wonder if I will ever truly be comfortable in my own skin.  Perhaps I came to Jesus, truly accepted Him, too late in my life.  Perhaps so much of the world and how I lived in it infiltrated me too much already. 

 

My prayer for today is that all women can truly see the gift that they are to the world, to their families, and to eachother.  I pray that we can build authentic friendships based on honesty and not based on how we want others to see us. 

 

It truly is the evil one who keeps us up nights and darkens our days.  St. Michael, protect women from the words of the evil one so they can be who God desires them to be.

 

In the words of St. Catherine of Sienna "Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.”

 

 



Embracing the Days of Mundane {Serving Others As Christ Taught Us}

 

Today my vocation has me scrubbing floors and sweeping dirt.  I cleaned under a couch, bathed small ones, made meals, and cleaned spilled jelly off of the kitchen floor.  It feels endless and rather useless in the big scheme, to be honest.  The floor will just get dirty again, toys and junk will collect under the couch, there's always (always always) another meal to prepare.  And who notices what's done unless it's not done?  So today I'm especially trying to be mindful of finding beauty in the mundane, the plain. the everyday chaos.

 

 

I think I've mentioned before my praises to God as I hit start on the washer or the dryer and they do, actually, start.  Or when I have warm water for a shower or ice drops down from the ice maker in the freezer.  I wonder if God thinks as I do - who notices what's done unless it's not done?  Often I blame God when things go wrong, when I don't get my own way, but what about when I do.  Do I praise God as He should be praised?  Not just for the big things but for all the small ones.  How often to I forget to praise God for the rain that waters the soil that grows the food?  Or for the stocked shelves at the grocery store?   Instead of lamenting the noise and the chaos and the mouths to feed and teeth to brush and nails to clip - what about for the healthy kids who make the noise that sounds like chaos? 

 

 

It's a balance, all of it.  As a mom of many it's easy to feel caught in the grind of daily chores.  It's easy to feel more like a function than a person.  In our culture we see and hear that it's the degrees on your wall and your bank account balance that says how important you are.  I look to the Saints to see that it's not how flashy our lives are but more how we live them.  Today I did OK (so far).  Spilled jelly didn't result in tears but a reminder to control my temper in stressful situations and that small messes can be cleaned up easily.  Harsh words can't be retracted but jelly wipes clean pretty easily.  Christ came not to be served or to have His Name in lights but to serve.  Today my prayer is that I can fight off the voice of satan telling me how unimportant I am and draw my strength from God - for in His eyes I am enough.

 

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ."

Colossians 3:23-25

 

(Photo credit to our lovely Katie)

 

When The Week Starts Tired {Links and Random Thoughts to Start Your Week}

We packed the weekend full, starting with Friday morning and clear thru Sunday at bedtime.  A trip to the zoo and Greenfield Village with other church and family commitments sprinkled in between.  Gearing up for a new week doesn't feel fresh.  It feels tired.  I wonder if any day is really different than another in this crazy life we have here.  When once I was able to covet my summers, now we dive right in to "fall" sports at the end of June, camps for various children at any given time, prayer meetings continue (praise God) and all draw us out of the house and steal my routine.  

 

Sometimes it's good to mix it up a bit, I guess.  New discoveries are made.  Creative ways of fitting in prayer time and journaling make it ever more clear that God is always with us.  We don't need to be in the quiet of our room.  We just need to be open to His promptings.  I have long since found His spirit in the kitchen sink while washing dishes or amongst the piles of laundry to fold.  But it's also there out in the world even in the noise.

 

"The Lord is near to all who call on him,
    to all who call on him in truth."

Psalm 145:18

 

When the weeks starts tired for me and the google calendar is highlighted in so many colors that they don't all fit...I have to remember to take a deep breath and ask God for the strength to do His will and the wisdom to know what we should be saying no to and the Grace to do it all with patience and kindness.  I replay Ann Vaskomp's words that life isn't an emergency.  Monday isn't a day to mourn the beginning of a seemingly endless week but a day to be grateful that the Lord has dawned a new day and a fresh start.

When I start my rosary each day it can sometimes be a bit like climbing a mountain.  I clutch the Crucifix and begin with the Creed and hear the first mystery announced (or I read it) and (to be brutally honest) I sometimes think "I'm only here...at mystery one...or two...how will I ever finish in this craziness?".  Then I get to the third or forth mystery and it's a bit like gliding down a hill on a bike.  It flies.  I fly.  I want it to slow down because I'm not ready for it to end.  And then it's done.  The Hail Holy Queen is said, the final prayer....Rosary goes back in my purse (for lack of pockets...why no pockets in my skirts?).  And so it is with the beginning of each week.  It starts seemingly slow with Monday but flies through Wednesday and the weekends go even faster.  Life, for me, is that way.  At the beginning of my married life I wondered if I would survive one pregnancy much less twelve.  Here we are nearing the end of my child bearing years and it flew by.  So much worry over nothing.  God's blessings abound even in the struggles. Even in the tired.  There are 24 hours in everyday no matter the day or the date or the season.  Finding the balance to use them in a way that is pleasing to God and in a way that honors those we have been given the privilege to care for is tricky.  I pray for God to guide Jesse and I to do that.  I didn't always pray that.  I thought I was in control.  I was never in control.

 

Starting a week tired WITH God is so much better than starting a week off with the illusion that I'm in control (WITHOUT God).  I pray that God will guide my tired steps this week as the time passes and ticks away.....Let me remember that life is not an emergency and babies become full blown adults in the blink of an eye.  Fertility fades away, youth and outward beauty doesn't last (as Psalm 31 says so much better than I can).  There are moments with my kids that are (always) orchestrated by God which will be my favorite memories when I am old, I think.  Praise God for those moments amidst the making and cleaning up of 30 meals a day, laundry, dishes, and all that goes with this amazing vocation.

 

The money stresses and daily trials will always be here.  But God is bigger than all of it.  I need to remember that more often.  If your week is starting out tired or even if it isn't these are a few new resources I have found to be an amazing blessing.  BLESSED IS SHE is a hub for all sorts of awesomeness from daily reflections on the Mass readings and Gospels to fun and inspirational wallpaper for your computer, tablet, or phone.  You can subscribe and have the reflections delivered right to your email address.  A great way to start or end your day (or sprinkled throughout the day as is usually the case for me). 

 

 

I finally finished the book Getting Free (which was short and excellent. I highly recommend it). I am diving right into the gem The Second Greatest Story Ever Told by Fr. Michael Gaitley.  All I can say is WOW.  Mix up St. JPII, Divine Mercy, inspirations for forgiveness and mercy and just an overall reminder to be kind to others and love until it hurts (as Mother Teresa reminds us to do).  Lastly, when the week (or any day) starts out tired, I begin with a lot of gratitude and praises and then blast KLOVE for the rest of the day for positive encouragement and reminders that everyday is a gift to be opened and that God is good all the time.  You can listen on the radio, online, or there's even an app for your phone or tablet.  Today I choose JOY no matter if I'm tired or discouraged or how the kids behave or treat eachother.....Make today great, friends.  I will be keeping you all in prayer.

 

 

 

 

 

Happy 7th Birthday Cecilia!! {God's Blessings}

She came just 16 months after Mary (our closest spaced children at the time) and I clearly remember wondering what God had in mind here.  I wasn't worthy of such a gift then and am still not worthy now.  I found out I was pregnant with her on our Anniversary (October 28) and JOY (and some fear) gripped my heart immediately.  On the morning of July 7, 2008 at 7:07 am Cecilia arrived earth side (weighing in at 9lbs 6oz!) and has been a light to our home ever since.  

(Cecilia shares a birthday with my brother, Andrew)

Cecilia spent the day at a girl's day camp with a local Challenge Girl's Group led by the Consecrated Women and some missionary middle and high sc hoolers.  The focus is on building virtue in our everyday lives.  What a blessing!  Mary and Katie are at day camp with her.  Hannah filled her car with balloons and will pick her up from camp.  I can't over emphasize how blessed I feel to be a part of this amazing family.  These kids bless me in a million ways every single day.

Happy happy birthday sweet Cecilia!  May your heart always be as pure as it is this day.

(Cecilia received her First Holy Communion on Easter this year)

{Freedom}

"Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right do to what we ought."

St. John Paul II

 

 

As I browsed Hobby Lobby earlier in the week all of the red, white, and blue decorations caught my eye tempting me to decorate our porch in the colors of our Nation.  A hint of sadness also grasped my heart, however.  I'm not a news watcher and no one would accuse me of knowing much about what goes on in the world but I know enough to know that the morals America was founded on have disappeared into little more than what some consider a Christian ideal that is no more.  I wondered if I should even be celebrating a country that I no longer recognize.  Political correctedness has paved the way to shutting out all those who stand with God and the Bible and God.  No more do we say "One Nation under God" during the Pledge of Allegiance in public schools, CHRISTmas vacation has become "winter or holiday break", and bathrooms in some schools have gone from "girls and boys" to anyone who associates with whatever sexual orientation at any given time.  The White House lit up in rainbow colors after the Supreme Court ruling on same sex marriage.  This blog is not intended to debate that ruling.  The actual ruling isn't as offensive to me as how it came about and what it says about our country and the court system.  The day of the ruling rainbows abounded on social media and elsewhere.  Even the United States Department of Education proudly displayed a rainbow flag on their Facebook page.  Christians are under attack.  What our kids will learn in school and in media and in the world at large is frightening for those of us who's lives are rooted in the TRUTH of the Gospels.   Some would say it's an extreme way of thinking but, in my opinion, it's only a mater of time before the Christian persecutions in this country begin.  We see it in Canada already and we are next.

Our country, to be sure, is a wonderful place to live.  I am grateful for the freedom we have to attend Mass daily without fear of persecution, I am grateful for laws that are in place to protect us from physical harm.  I am grateful for the men and women who serve to protect our country every single day.  But our country was founded on the Biblical truths and the Bible hasn't changed.  God doesn't change.  Our country and those who live in it have twisted and manipulated the word freedom to mean things that were never intended.  

On a very basic level freedom has been touted for decades as doing the wrong thing.  It's true, God gave us free will, but His desire in that was that we would choose Him because what He offers is so much better than anything the world could ever give.  Yet our concupiscence pulls us towards things that seem good but are harmful to us.  Once upon a time those things weren't as easily accessible as they are now and in our schools or other public places virtue was still instilled in us.  Enough virtue to hopefully push us toward right thinking (although not always, of course). 

 

 

Freedom in marriage or in our sexuality doesn't mean doing whatever you want because it makes you happy or it feels good.  It means freedom to choose to die to self for the sake of the other person and/or your family and society at large. 

"An Nation that kills it's own children has no future"

St. John Paul II



Freedom at work doesn't mean slacking off until you get caught or get fired.  It means choosing to do a good job because what feels better than a hard day's work?

As my children grow and "leave the nest" I see excitement and hope in their faces over their new found freedom.  But freedom to be an adult doesn't mean spinning out of the driveway and finally doing all the things you were never allowed to do.  Freedom as an adult means to make choices that will better help you succeed in life and that will bring you closer to God.  Freedom means if you are the prodigal son you know you can come home and start again.

Everyday, no matter what country we live in, no matter our oppressions, no matter our vocation, our addictions, or our pasts, we have freedom in Christ.  That is true freedom worth celebrating.  As the orchestra blared "God Bless America" last night and the fireworks lit up the sky I prayed that Americans would open their hearts to the One Who made this all possible.  I prayed for those who have gone astray and I prayed for our government officials to repent and believe in the Gospel.  We can be free to live as we choose but that doesn't change what happens after we die.  We will be held accountable.

"I will walk in FREEDOM for I have devoted myself to Your commandments"

Psalm 119:45

 

(Not pictured - Brandon (our oldest) and his wife, Rose)



{Pride}

 

Merriam Webster defines pride like this : "a feeling that you are more important or better than other people".  The Catholic definition of pride says "an inordinate esteem of oneself".  Neither definition sounds healthy or appealing to me.  The Catholic definition goes on to say that pride "can lead to all sorts of sins, notably presumption, ambition, vainglory, boasting, hypocrisy, strife, and disobedience."  I have pondered the meaning of pride in the last few months as I have waded through my weaknesses and how they pertained to my Faith, marriage, family life, and other bumpy paths on my journey.  Pride, I know, is the gateway sin.  Pride is a solid tool of the devil.  Pride says that I deserve, am worth more, am better than....Pride says I can lie to my spouse, cheat on him or her, leave my family if they aren't making me happy.  Pride refuses GRACE and is the enemy of forgiveness.  I fear pride.  I fear it like it was a gigantic snake coiled up in my living room. 

 "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." 

Proverbs 16:18

The Catholic Church, in all Her wisdom, has an antidote for pride.  It is humility.  Humility isn't constantly putting yourself down like I used to think it was.  Instead, my understanding of it is that every good thing we are is not a result of our own power but a direct reflection of Who God is.  Humility also says "I forgive you" even when we don't want to.  It says "I'm sorry" when we don't want to be.  And it asks "will you forgive me?" when we may not feel like we have done anything that needs to be forgiven. 

"Pride is the commencement of all sin"

St. Augustine

 



I think Jesse and I would agree that that the single biggest down fall in our marriage has been pride on both sides.   How pride plays out in your life may look different than how it plays out in mine but we should all be on the look out for pride.  For me prideful actions and words flow easily and feel good while humility hits hard at my core and often I have to force out humble words that I would rather ignore.  In the Garden of Eden pride told Eve she could ignore God and do as she pleased.  Pride always comes from the devil but isn't always disguised as a snake.  Sometimes it can be disguised as what seems to be a good work or a nice person.  The more I recite the Prayer of Humility the more I see how it's working in my life.  For me it's a hard, hard lesson to learn. 

 

"Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice."

Proverbs 13:10

Once upon a time I would pretend to know how to do something for fear of Jesse thinking he was smarter than I am now I'm able to ask him to help or allow him to show me. I once heard a friend say "do you want to be right or do you want to be married?"  So simple yet so true.  Sometimes I just have to bite my tongue and shut up.  Of course there are cases when we must approach sensitive topics in an honest and intimate way but now I try to take those cases to prayer before approaching Jesse with them.  I need to make sure my words reflect what God wants and not my prideful need to be right.  It's a balance I haven't had much success with yet but tomorrow is a new day.

"But the serpent said to the woman, "You will not surely die.  For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."

Genesis 3:4-7

 



I believe Satan is out to destroy marriage and families.  I see it again and again.  And his favorite tool, in my experience, is most certainly pride.  I find it interesting that the alternative/same sex/or whatever they are calling it marriage community chooses the word "pride" to describe their affections for themselves and what they stand for.  I am against pride.  All pride.  I don't care what your sexual orientation is - pride will always destroy. 

 

"Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."
Proverbs 11:2