Rejoice! Advent Meditations With Mary {Book Review}

Even IF the written content in this book wasn't amazing (which it is) the graphics alone make it worth having.  Rejoice! Advent Meditations With Mary is a must have for this Advent.  The daily reflections are short yet meaningful making them do able by even the busiest person.  The informational video seen HERE gives you a sneak peak of what to expect throughout the swift but precious days of Advent as we await the birth of Jesus.  I would love to do this in a group or even parish wide.  There are weekly videos (short!), screen savers for phones or laptops (FREE!), and larger sized prints that you can purchase (for cheap) to frame and place in your homes.  That information can be found HERE.  My Advents have become so much more meaningful since I've added reflections on what Advent really is to my daily routine. 

Advent is so much more than just wrapping gifts and planning Christmas outfits, baking cookies, and watching Elf.  Finding the true meaning of Christmas in my own heart was and continues to be the most important thing I do every Advent.  I can remember always wishing the four weeks of Advent away so we could get to the "good stuff".  But now I'm learning to enjoy the process, slow down, and embrace all that Advent has to offer.  After all, Jesus came down on Christmas so that *I* could have life eternal.  The least I can do is offer Him a few extra minutes per day of my heart.  Don't wait to snag this treasure up!  Order now and it will be here before Advent.  When purchased in bulk these books make an affordable edition to a parish mission.

I will be praying that you all have a peace filled Advent and that you don't forget where you put the Advent candles like I probably will.  

When Life is Happening {Pray and Give Thanks}

She's likely flying over Ohio by now, our fourth child, our joy filled girl.  Heading back to her new life that takes her way to far from us.  1100 miles to be exact.  We stole a short visit this past week packing in baking and shopping and hair cuts and plenty of coffee, so much laughter, and some quiet mama tears as my babies grow and spread their wings following God's plan for their lives.

 Life is happening quickly around here.  I had a conversation the other day that brought me pause.  Upon hearing about the number of children that we have a well meaning woman asked "but do you get time for you?".  I answered yes without thinking.  My time with them IS time for me.  And it's fleeting.  When you don't know exactly when the next time is that you will see one (or more) of your adult children it makes you hold those little ones a little bit tighter, read one more story, do one more craft.

In the midst of laundry, dishes, activities, and schooling it can be hard to keep that focus and many days I fail.  The type A in me sees piles of laundry to fold and mess to clean.  I often look right past the very people I'm supposed to be loving in the name of getting things done.  I lose my focus and I lose my balance.  Connecting with God in the midst of it all is always what brings me back.  

I was reminded yesterday at a women's conference of something St. Francis de Sales is quoted as saying "Everyone of us needs half an hour of prayer a day, except when we are busy, then we need an hour".   I have found in my life this is so true.  And the more I take time out to pray the more time I seem to have for other things and the more peaceful I am.  I don't want to give the idea that I'm on my knees in deep prayer while my children play or read quietly in another room but I do try to take time out of every hour to connect with the Lord in some way.  Praise and Worship music, a short devotional. Divine Mercy Chaplet at the 3:00 hour.  These things may or may not involve the children but they always help me connect to my family in a very special way.  I never want to forget that my vocation is first and foremost to serve my family and make my home a domestic church.  

This world is a battle ground and satan is fighting for our children's souls.  As each of my children leave the home I want them to be as equipped as possible to fight that battle and win.  This isn't my first rodeo and I'm well aware that with free will sometimes people make poor choices.  I desire for my children to know that there is always grace, mercy, and forgiveness available for them FREE thanks to Jesus' sacrifice for us on the cross.  

By the end of my conversation with the lovely woman I mentioned above we agreed that the Grace of God gets us through each day regardless of anything else that may be spinning around us.  

This morning I will be glued to my phone until I know my baby girl who isn't a baby at all anymore is safe in her home away from home.  I'll connect with my children who don't live here anymore, I'll connect with God, I'll serve those who are still here and I will give thanks for it all.

Choosing Happiness Amidst the Rainstorms of Life {And a Prayer Request}

"He did not say you would not be troubled, you would not be tempted,
you would not be distressed, but He did say you would not beovercome." - St. Josemaria Escriva

Driving home from the hospital radiology lab it started to rain but it was sunny.  I'm sure you've seen it before just as I have.  I looked up and saw the black clouds surrounding the blue sky.  I pulled over, got out of the van and stood in the rain taking pictures with my phone.  This picture perfectly illustrates our life right now.  

June 19 marked the end of an earthly life for our baby Peregrine Philippa.  Weeks later my health reports came back "abnormal".  Positives where there should be "you're super healthy!".  More questions, doctor appointments, lab work.  Now we wait for the specialist to fit me in.  We know it's some kind of autoimmune issue we just don't know what it is exactly.  I feel good overall.  On and off pain in my right hand which has taught me how to do more things left handed.  Not a bad thing to learn.

Saturday we had the memorial for both Margaret and Peregrine since they were lost so close together.  I'm so grateful that we have access to this beautiful final resting spot for our babies. 

On Monday we learned that there is another mass in a different part of Jesse's lung.  That's all we know.  He had some follow up testing today.  After we get those results we can hopefully make a plan.  Some of you may remember we went through this a couple of years ago and the result was removal of the upper lobe of the lung.  It was very painful for Jesse and my prayer is that he won't have to endure that again.  Please pray with me?

In the meantime the blue skies and sunshine radiates through the black clouds and rain.  Frances turned 5 and Katie graduated from high school.  There are countless, COUNTLESS other blessings for which we are grateful each and everyday.  Our faith and our prayer warrior friends help keep peace in our hearts during this time of uncertainty.  When I start to panic I receive a text from a friend.  Today's message "Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10.  Indeed You are.  And I trust You.  This blog is not nearly as well written as I had hoped it would be (perhaps I thought someone else would write it for me?) but it is a plea for prayers.  Thank you all and I will update as I am able.

“Happiness isn’t something that depends on our surroundings…it’s something we make inside ourselves.” - Corrie Ten Boom

Katie and I at her graduation party.

On Joy, Humility and Conviction {And Psalm 34}

A week ago our baby had a strong heartbeat and a few days later there was stillness on the screen.  In the past I have waited a couple of weeks for things to happen on their own before I submitted to the D and C.  This time I didn't feel led to wait so just a few days later I found myself in the waiting room of the outpatient surgery center yet again.  Unsure of what had actually transpired over the past few days, head spinning, heart crying.  So many voices in my head saying things like "You're old, what do you expect?; Why did you get your hopes up? ; You're begging prayers for the same things yet again and you brought it on yourself. "  I tried to cling tight to the actual truths that I know and what I believe God has planned for our family.  The KNOWING that a soul is a soul whether one goes straight to haven or makes a stop here on earth first.  But all along I silently prayed "Please don't let the nurses ask me how many children I already have, how many babies I've lost, how old I am, how old my youngest is.  PLEASE."  Of course this is all my PERCEPTION and not reality.  Everyone who I came into contact with was very kind.  There was no need for me to worry because my life was broadcast on their computer screens therefore there was no need for them to ask.  They did ask questions, though, but not in a condemning way.  I was able to share about the joys and sorrows of being a mother of adult children and middles and toddlers and babies (and of course brag about Amelia Thérèse). 

Tonight I was completely convicted when I read this on the Blessed is She daily reflection blog (found HERE)

Let that be our challenge today, sisters. How can we be more like the Apostles? How can we care less about what others think and more about what God thinks? May we ask the Holy Spirit for help in those difficult moments where we are unsure of what to say and trust that the truth be shared.

Perhaps from the outside our life seems a little crazy, a little selfish, a little excessive.  Perhaps that's just my perception of what others may think.  Perhaps that's what I once would have thought of someone like me.  None of that really matters, though, it's what HE thinks that matters.  This baby was only around for 9 weeks but the tiny life, the tiny heart, deepened my love for Jesus, my family, my faith community.  This tiny life led me down the path of stepping out in faith, being humbled, learning about the humanness of others.  I firmly believe that every person we come into contact with has something to teach us and those little ones who live within us, well they teach us so very much.  A face I will not see until (and if) I make it to Heaven is forever imprinted on my heart.  

I still have much to unpack regarding this pregnancy but one thing I know for sure, one thing I have been given the grace to do all along is to be JOYFUL and to celebrate the beauty of life.  Friends every moment in life matters.  Be brave, smile at others even when (and maybe especially when) you know they won't smile back.  Take the worst chore even when it's not your turn.  Say a prayer for the person who cuts you off in traffic or takes your parking spot.  I don't know how I learned these things from a tiny little life (or relearned them as the case may be) but I did.  Thank you, Margaret Emmanuel and please pray for us.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted;
and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.
Many are the troubles of the just man,
but out of them all the LORD delivers him.

Psalm 34:18

Forgiving Mother : A Marian Novena of Healing and Peace {Book Review}

We are in the midst of full on winter here in Michigan.  I think nearly a foot of snow has falling in the last day.  I've been preparing for Lent, decluttering and organizing ruthlessly, and in between nursing and laundry, reading.  The book Forgiving Mother: A Marian Novena of Healing and Peace was delivered to me just before Christmas.  With holiday busyness and quality family time I didn't want to rush through this book so I set it aside for a few weeks until I could give it the attention it deserved.  I'm very glad I did that.  I believe this book has the key to transform hearts and allow true grace and forgiveness to flow.  The author, Marge Steinhage Fenelon, is so incredibly transparent (something that I appreciate so much in my own struggles).  Her honesty and the work she put into forgiving an abusive mother is inspiring. 

The book begins with personal stories of her childhood traumas and goes on for several chapters outlining the pain in her heart but also her true desire to heal, show empathy toward her mother, and forgive.  The second part of the book walks the reader through a Novena to the Blessed Mother for true forgiveness and healing. 

You need not have a strained relationship with your own mother to appreciate this book.  In my experience everyone has someone that they struggle to forgive. This book reminds us that our Blessed Mother is there to comfort us and aid us in the forgiveness process.  The Novena contains scripture reflections, questions, things we may want to ask for intercession for, and prayers. 

I am richly blessed for having read this book and I know you would be as well.  It would be a great book to add to your Lenten reading materials.