I recently read an article called "
Parents Don't Let Your Daughters Dress Like Tramps". I must say I nearly jumped on my chair and cheered. This article wasn't written with religious or moral slants and it was on a mainstream website. Reading that article came shortly after being told that Jesse and I try too hard to be good parents. I wasn't aware of the epidemic of parents that "try too hard" and didn't even know it could be done. I will say it's a "problem" that I'm happy to afflicted with if it is, in fact, a reality. If you know me you know I'm a big fan of Facebook. I don't get out much in real life and I enjoy keeping up with friends and family via two second updates and photos. We don't have cable or network TV so my media sources include Catholic Radio and the information that comes through my Facebook newsfeed via the pages I have allowed through. One of my most favorite things about Facebook is checking up on my kid's friends. Kids will say just about anything on Facebook and many of them don't even have private pages so I don't have to be their friend (nor do my children) for me to check out everything about them. Recently I noticed a scary trend of favorite television shows among the young teenaged girls. Shows that I had never heard of and when I tried to google them our parental securities wouldn't even let them filter through. Upon further investigation (asking around and turning off the security for a bit) I was horrified at what I discovered. There's a reality show about a pregnant teenager that these girls seem glued to. Now, let me tell you, *I* was a pregnant teenage girl and there was nothing glorifying about it. I was not lifted up on a major TV network nor was I proud of my actions (which is separate from how I feel about the baby, now grown man, that was a result of the pregnancy). These days teen pregnancy is something girls are trying for! OK, not all, of course, or probably even half but it's still alarming that listed in the top three of favorite shows is one like this. And the list continues. Television shows not fit for adults much less 12/13/14 year old girls. Some parents call it a "learning experience". I call it garbage. In our house we have ALL made a commitment (yes, Jesse and I too) to be very prudent about what we watch or listen to. Oh yes, I know, I've heard the remarks of how you "protect kids forever" and how "they're going to see it eventually". Yep, well, maybe. They're probably going to drink a glass of wine eventually too but I don't put it in their sippy cup. And while I know it's true that we can't protect them forever, I *can* protect them now. Please do not confuse the word "protect" with making them ignorant of the *real* world that people inform me we don't live in. My children are not ignorant of the real world. As they grow they learn what's out there. They know. And they know why it's toxic to their minds and souls. What good can come from watching television shows where teens are drinking and having sex? I've heard the argument that some parents think that shows kids how harmful it is. I'd say it is more attractive to kids than not. I say that when my favorite TV show, ONE time, showed a teen mother (who, frankly, was struggling badly) I found it strangely attractive. I mean, she dated the cute guy anyway and the baby was adorable so what was the problem? I watched it through the eyes of an idealistic 15 year old girl. Not through the eyes of a 35 year old woman who had real life experiences. It is my opinion that what we fill our eyes, ears, and brains with is what we will eventually believe to be OK. If we watch infidelity, casual sex, and listen to bad language in enough television shows, movies, music, and even commercials we will eventually dull our senses and start to work things out in our heads that make this behavior OK. Choosing to live this way has really limited what our family can take in media wise. That's not so much a bad thing when you think about it. I will say thank goodness for Food Network (we can watch online!!) and I am eternally grateful for the fabulous Christian rock music that has hit the scene in the last decade or so. Making this leap wasn't easy for either Jesse or I. He was especially into movies so it's a huge sacrifice for him. I believe that our children see what Jesse, especially (because kids learn alot of their habits like this from their dad) chooses and they will grow to respect him for it. And dare I say taking in a good book or board game as a family is more rewarding than watching garbage on TV anyway.
In closing I will say that I know there is no parenting formula. There is no cookie cutter way to help our kids grow up to be the people we want them to be. But as long as our children are living in our home and are under our protection (yes, protection) we will do everything we can to protect their bodies, minds, and souls. When the kids "fly the nest" I need to know in my heart that we did everything we could to make them good, contributing members of society and MOST IMPORTANTLY to get them to Heaven. There's always going to be free will but hopefully with a good, moral foundation we will have little regret about how we parented them.
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I also want to give HIGH praises to
Dr. Ray Guarendi. He has given me a parenting backbone for the last 12 years. I heard him speak at Brandon's school, when he was still in public school, and while I thought he was a nut for having TEN kids and homeschooling (LOL) I bought his books and soaked them up. I continue to read his books and listen to his radio show daily. I don't agree with him on everything but I agree with him more than any of the other resources I've tried (and since I consider parenting my only and most important job I check out a ton of resources). Check him out. He's no nonsense but the results are good. In our house we tell the kids "call Dr. Ray. If he says yes you can do it".
