Gratitude Sunday As Lent Carries On

It's *that* part of Lent.  Maybe you've resolved to pray more, read more scripture, give up chocolate, or (gasp) coffee.  Here we are, chugging along, and maybe you're like me and you're back sliding.  Jesus spent 40 days in the desert.  And he was tempted.
 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”  (Mt 4: 1-3)

Last night and early this morning the evil one said to me "no one cares how hard you are trying.  You will never be good enough."  And I believed him.  Then I remembered my vow to follow HIS law and read HIS book.  So I searched.

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'” (Mt 4:4)

 

Just a few days ago I felt so hopeful, so strong.  I felt that I could change.  I felt His Grace really was enough.  I haven't had anxiety attacks in years.  But this week I was hit hard with fear and anxiety.  Especially in the past few days.  I know it's spiritual warfare.  Anxiety attacks are debilitating and to those who have never suffered from them they seem ridiculous.  But they can take you out and knock you down in an instant.  What am I forgetting?  What is it?  Why am I feeling weak and selfish?  I need MORE of Jesus.  So I will ask for more.  And He will give Himself and fill my heart and my mind.  When I feel anxiety I pray a Hail Mary and a St. Michael the Archangel prayer.  It helps.  And then I command "Satan get behind me." 

 

And now, for my blessings, my gratitude journal continues.  For an amazingly beautiful Sunday and for the chance to enjoy it in a beautiful place with Jesse and the three little girls.  For healthy children, friendships growing, for an impromptu meal with my parents.  While we *see* them often we rarely get to chat.  It was lovely.  For prayer meetings and a message from Brandon that said "I really miss you, mom, and I wish that you were here with me".  No sweeter words could a mother hope to hear.  For answered prayers and enduring love.  For a forgiving husband and understanding children.  For being (as our Pastor said) "excessively blessed by an excessively generous Savior". 

And so I will dust off my knees, again, and continue on trying, trying, trying. 

Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’ ” (Mt 4:10-11)