On Marriage and Springtime

I always wanted to be a mom. I had thought 6 kids would be neat. God has blessed me with 10 (so far).
17 years ago I left the "work force" thinking I'd return in a few years.
Every morning Jesse gets up early while I am cuddled in bed with whatever baby
we have at the time. He prays over me and kisses us goodbye. He makes me coffee and leaves me a note.

Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find? The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him. (Proverbs 20: 6-7)

I spend my days as I wish, for the most part. Being a mother, yes, laundry, cooking, cleaning, changing diapers. I am blessed to not have a husband that comes home and looks around at all I DIDN'T do that day. He trusts that I have used my time wisely. I admit that I haven't always been worthy of his trust. I have wasted time on unnecessary tasks and scrambled in the evening or on the weekends to complete what I could have done had I not spent my time doing other things.

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them
(Colossians 3:18-19)

When Brandon left for college I, pridefully, patted myself on the back. I had spent all his years with him. Day in and day out. But I had forgotten to thank the person that made that possible. I always wanted to be home with my children. I dreamed of homeschooling them. Yet I often felt like it was Jesse that owed ME thanks. How completely foolish. I grew up in this self centered "me first" society and I bought it - hook, line, and sinker. In the past year I have forced myself to examine my "methods" and they were not good methods. They involved nagging, mean words, manipulation, and I realized I treated the checkout girl at Target better than I treated my own husband. What a disgrace to Jesse's dignity as a son of God, to the sacrament of marriage, and to God Himself.

A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
(Proverbs 12:4)

Why am I writing this and putting it into cyberspace? I write from my heart, I pray before I post and I write what the Holy Spirit places within me to write. I write this to say that our society is wrong. I have strayed so far from society in most things but the indoctrination that men are meaningless, dumb, slow, good for little more than a babysitter and a paycheck is something that I am very sad to say I believed for WAY too long. I dug into scripture and I swallowed my pride. I had to change. I wanted more for my sons and more for my daughters. I wanted more for my husband. Many times I thought that I could not change and that running away from this marriage would be better for all involved. Now, well, I'm sure I backslide with disrespectful remarks and thoughts. Men ARE different than women. That's the beauty of it. We compliment each other. That's how God made us.

Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:22-24)

My journey to 1000 blessings or gifts has led me to focus on the GOOD that my husband brings to my life, to our family. I started out a single mom working two jobs and attending college. I missed Brandon SO very much. And today as I drove to the park with 8 of our 10 children I remembered how BLESSED I am to have this freedom. This gift. I haven't earned it, I assure you. I don't deserve it. But that's why it's called a gift, right? It's freely given and the giver expects nothing in return. I pray for you (if you are married) to cherish your marriage, cherish your spouse.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)